Got a toothbrush?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the day after is always just damage control
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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