five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
