while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
True college students do jello shots in the library
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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