Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
