don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
