so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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