Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
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