i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's Friday. Sex?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
