I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
