I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
