thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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