you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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