The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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