my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
