They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
