Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
