I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
