I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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