Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
