Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
