I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
