Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
