She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
