No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
