We're facebook friends in real life
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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