why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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