I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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