I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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