PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
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