oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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