Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
