i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Randomize
