I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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