Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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