Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
