Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
