grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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