i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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