But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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