I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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