I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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