If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
