he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
