there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
