Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I skipped work to stalk him.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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