I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
