Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
