It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
