david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
