My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
